For me, it’s very surreal to be back in San Diego. In fact, it’s always been some sort of dream for me to be here. Not the type of dream that one might see as a goal, but a dream in that… it’s kind of like a prerequisite before life happens. Then again, life is always happening. It’s the perks about being on a college campus. It isn’t so much a perk though. It’s almost like a limbo, but even then, I have no idea what that is like. This must all be a symptom of not having been grounded lately. I always gave a fuck. That’s the thing about life. It’s not about letting things phase me. Giving a fuck is like vulnerability… maybe. It’s a lot of work that cannot become a formality for me because I’ll just get lost in the process.

I don’t exactly know where I’m going with this, but I did not want this to become a conversation about how college/university becomes an institution of theory and all else that lies outside of its boundaries is when I’m supposed to guess at how praxis works. I’ve had this conversation before, about college in conjunction with internships. *Shudders.* Even then, I’ve had subtle discussions about this, about how people would say CSUs are more accessible in terms of the education that is taught there and how people would say UCs are a lot of research. So, when I’m pushed out of this incubator that is the university, I wonder how accessible I’ll be for others.

Lately, I have had a strong idea of where I want to go.

  1. giraffed posted this